Magical things are happening. I promise. I can tell you right now, here, from the trenches of the thickest shit of all, magic is happening. This is no nightly news fairytale, this is LIFE, and it can suck, but magical things are constantly happening. I can feel it. I dared the Universe to bring it on, and she listened.
In the last 6 months some shit has gone down. Reality changed hard and fast, and hasn't slowed down since. First, my best friend in the world finally overdosed and died after flirting with it for years. I drank and smoked and slept and yelled and cried and fought and my way through the holidays. My mortgage application was denied because I ruined my credit nomadically selling crap door to door all over the country for 5 years, living in motels and crack neighborhoods making a 100 bucks a week but rockin' a 3 piece suit everyday. "But only poor people need credit, and I'm going to be rich. Mwuahahaha." Those old beliefs cackled maniacally.
In just the last ONE MONTH, I totaled my sexy, new, juuuuust barely what I could afford car that I bought for myself because I thought I was finally getting back on my feet. Since I needed a new car, I rented a tiny white fiat 500 (during the worst CT winter in 100 years). Out of pocket, of course because who the hell pays for rental coverage? And gap coverage? "You only need that crap if you crash your ride, which clearly only fools do." Days later, en route to teach my first ever regularly scheduled [paid] yoga class, someone slammed right into that fiat, likely mistaking it for a snowball on the road. You guessed it, Enterprise picked it up. My mom picked me up.
The following week, in not the classiest fashion, myself and 30 others were suddenly laid off and walked out of our once dreamy job selling guitars. That was the job that paid for that that cool sexy car and not so sexy rental (RIP fiat).
So obviously I just chuckled when the next day I drove my recently unemployed ass an hour in a blizzard and checked into the Valentines day jacuzzi tub room -booked months in advance- with an arm full of roses to surprise my beloved, (the big blue star on my calendar, wink wink) to find no such jacuzzi. But of course, lovely Meg, the overworked front desk girl who judging by her expressions did not have anyone trying to spatter a hotel room hot tub in rose petals for her, comped us breakfast. Breakfast! It was small, but felt like a gift from the Universe. Free breakfast is magic, isn't it? Case Closed!
The point is, there's more. I promise. There is way more to life than just the shit you are swimming in right now. You just need to look for it, or stop looking for it, I suppose, it depends on how you look at it ;) There is a woman giving you free breakfast, a beloved holding your hand, a hilarious thought running around in your mind. There is more.
I can't explain it, (pardon whilst l try anyway).
Every time my mind starts to think "My life is completely falling apart", my heart immediately, without hesitation, chimes in singing "Silly Sean, you're life is completely coming together." And I just laugh. Because things have been shaken up so much, there is room for new people and projects in my life. Things that are more in alignment with my actual soul have started to make their way into my life.
They say that when you don't listen to what the Universe is trying to tell you, or see what its trying to show you, that it will get louder. And if you still don't listen, it will start beating you over the head with it, or start hurling motor vehicles at you. I can tell you with zero hesitation, that much is true. There's a reason why we have cliche sayings like, "When it rains it pours" and "The hits just keep on coming." It's because they're ALL true.
It used to be that breaking the yolk in my over-easy egg would instantly ignite a fiery rage of a thousand suns that can (and has) lead to thrown pans, broken glass, and burned skin. Over-easy my ass! But today, I failed a flip miserably, I mangled that thing into a scrambled mess like I was having a seizure at the stove. And just laughed.
As the hot molten golden goo that once almost housed a future chicken flowed and bubbled into solidity on the hot cast iron (#yolkporn), I remembered that I has asked for this, for all of it, and then, it hit me.
If you're gonna shake your fist at the sky and tell the Universe that you're ready for anything and everything that she's got.....you'd better mean it. Because your deck is gonna get shuffled.
Things have to fall apart in order for the Universe to better align your life with your soul. So go ahead, shake your fist. What is beyond the scrambled eggs is worth the trip.